Prioritizing each other in marriage is difficult to do consistently. Over time, things like work and children, seem to take precedent. Reminding ourselves that we need to do things like date, only demonstrate how hard it is to continuously keep our marriage relationship ever before us.
This week I left the house early to get to the airport. I had a very important meeting that afternoon and I gave myself plenty of time by booking an early flight. My plan was to arrive early, do some work and show up for the meeting refreshed from traveling. That was my plan. I was quickly reminded that man makes his plans but God directs his steps (Proverbs 16:9).
Within minutes of getting through security I learned that protesters had made it onto the runway and that all flights, coming in and going out, were halted. Before panic set in I prayed and considered my options. The only way to make it to my meeting was to switch airports. I had to travel 90 minutes by train to another airport and get on a flight with about 30 minutes to spare. It all came together and I made it, arrived on time but not as refreshed as I had hoped.
How did this all come together? My wife dropped everything she was doing and quickly got on the phone with two different airlines to get me rebooked. She did all this while I was rushing to the other airport, out of mobile range, while underground on a train. She got it resolved, got me a reasonable price, and even a refund on my delayed flight - all within the hour.
This whole incident reminded me of how important it is to work together in marriage. We both have lots to do and it is easy to be selfish, especially when inconvenience appears and our schedule is interrupted.
We've done so much for each other over the years and have always made the effort to drop what we were doing to help one another. I'm sure you've done the same, but this time it made me pause and think about how grateful I am for her and her desire to help. One of the first things we learned in our marriage was that it was not a 50/50 relationship where she has her chores and responsibilities and I have mine. Our marriage has always been a 100/100 relationship – we have had to work at looking after our marriage, home and family together and not get caught up on who should be making the bed, paying the bills or making dinner.
That said, we settled into a system early in our marriage. It was obvious that my wife was much more disciplined at managing the money and making sure our financial responsibilities were looked after. With my hectic travel schedule it didn’t make sense to try and own that. Equally, my wife struggled with certain chores around the house that I picked up to help with her load.
We had our moments of “it’s not my job” but quickly reset and realized that wasn’t a healthy view.
"Prioritizing each other means being willing to do what is necessary to help each other, being constantly aware of each other’s needs, and seeking to meet those needs".