We have all heard the saying, “Love is blind, but marriage is an eye opener.” Those of us who are married laugh and agree, “it sure is an eye opener.” Some of us laugh, but hide the fact that our marriage isn’t bringing us as much happiness or joy as it did when we were falling in love.
My daughter is in the “falling in love” stage, and she cannot for a moment comprehend ever not “feeling” this way in the future, especially after she is married. Aren’t we supposed to fall in love with each other more and more each day?
Why can’t we have that same “blind” love that we first had early on in our relationship?
Once we are married the blinders come off. We are now one, Mark 10:8 says: “and the two are united into one.' Since they are no longer two but one.” We are transparent with each other. We see each other with all the good and bad, the blemishes, the passing of gas, the toilet seat left up, the toothpaste cover not put back on….so many “little” things, begin to bother us, and they cloud our focus.
The Bible has a warning regarding these “little” annoyances. In Song of Songs 2:15 we read:
Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!
These little foxes, are the everyday annoyances, that left unchecked, can become big problems in a marriage, even enough to destroy it. Think about it, what are the things about your spouse that annoy you? What are the “little foxes” in your marriage that need to be caught and removed from your marriage. How do you feel when you concentrate on these “little foxes?”
Here is one example from my marriage. I like my bathroom trash pretty much empty. Each day I empty the trash into the kitchen bin. However, what really annoys me is when my husband puts the hangers from his dry cleaning in the trash…. because they stick out and what little that is in there looks like it is full. My first thought is negative; why does he continue to do that? But today, as I saw the 2 hangers in there, I decided to try a new approach. I was grateful that I don’t have to iron his shirts every day….and if he puts the hangers in the trash, it is not a big deal for me to empty the trash again, after I had just emptied it. He works hard, and in the mornings he has “work” on his mind. He is not thinking about how he can annoy me by putting the hangers in the trash. It is my “pet peeve” something that bothers me, and he doesn’t even know about it. This really spoke volumes to me! What I focus on can truly affect my love for my husband!
My challenge to you: Next time one of the “little foxes” is in the house….” catch it” and get rid of it. Look for something positive in the annoyance. Pray for your spouse, go out of your way to cover over the “little” annoyance, and see what happens to your attitude! See if some of the “love is blindness returns”. It worked for me today, and I am looking forward to putting this more into practice each day!