The devil is in the details. Actually, that is not true. God is in the details but the devil wants to be and wants to disrupt anything good in our lives. It's concerning that many professing believers neglect the reality of spiritual warfare in their lives even when God's word is so crystal clear on the topic.
"For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places" - Ephesians 6:12 (NLT)
Marriage is the fertile ground for our enemy to wage war. It is the one place we are most transparent and tested. The bonding of a marriage relationship comes with loads of friction and you know that well if you're married. This friction comes from inside and outside the home.
Inside the home you deal with issues related to money, friends, family, what to eat, what to watch - almost anything that requires decision making and discussion can turn into a battle if we aren't in check. On the outside you have in-laws, or as someone affectionally once said - outlaws. You deal with work challenges and sadly even issues with church. To be honest, problems are everywhere and this is exactly why the devil is successful in getting us to react and become antagonistic.
Subtle attacks are his speciality. He feeds off of our bad and misguided attitudes and then plays the ninja card, making us completely unaware of his antics. Sure, we can often do all the harm ourselves without his help and I'm not one to blame it all on satan, but when you're seeking to live a godly life and fulfill a godly marriage, the attacks are real.
Spiritual warfare has many faces when it comes to marriage. Sometimes it stems from the inability to be truthful with each other. It can grow from the inability to communicate well, the willingness to forgive and resolve conflict, the mistake of sharing your challenges with people outside your marriage and therefore exposing your spouse and yourself. Spiritual warfare is a weed that grows quickly each time we take matters into our own hands and ignore God's principles in our lives.
So how do we defend ourselves from these attacks and set up a safeguard in our marriage?
There are two main activities from which all others flow. In fact, these two are the only two activities that will completely transform us and our marriage.
First, get into the bible. Read God's word with a desire to learn. Stop reading it like a text book. It's not homework, it's a living, life-changing body of knowledge and wisdom that was specifically designed to transform the reader.
It is extremely discouraging how many churches have made bible reading sound like an assignment. The idea of quiet time has turned into a legalistic activity, sucking the life out of the original intent. You don't have to read the bible. You get to read the bible. It's a privilege not an obligation.
Search online for a one year reading plan. Read one book at a time. Don't get hung up with how to read it. Just start reading it. One suggestion is for you and your spouse to do the same reading and then discuss it when you can to see what you both gleaned from it.
You can't love God without loving His word.
The second thing to do is pray together. Have you heard the story of the man who had a dream one night. He was walking down a long road and came upon a church. The service had started and he noticed one demon sleeping on the steeple at the top of the church. He kept walking and came across a home. There were hundreds of demons frantically circling the home and crawling all over the outside. The man was able to get close enough to see what was going on inside the home. He saw a couple, on their knees, praying together.
He asked God in the dream what this all meant. God's reply was that the church was stale, had left it's first love and had gotten into the rhythm of "doing church" - the demon was sleeping because he had nothing to be concerned about. The church had done the damage to itself.
The home, however, was a different story. God explained that the couple spent time praying together each day and this was most concerning to the devil. Their prayers were being heard and the enemy was desperate to find a way in to disrupt it all.
Like bible reading, prayer has become a repetitive, ineffective activity for many of us. We have lost the essence of it's meaning and power. We say the same things when we pray. We start the same way, we repeat the same phrases and then we're up and back to what was more important. When is the last time you cried out to God for something? When is the last time you held hands together and lifted up a simple, short, heartfelt prayer for something or someone?
If you ask 10 couples whether they pray together, half will say yes. Of those 5 only 1 will say they do it daily. People make prayer complicated. Prayer is the super multivitamin of a marriage. It will help you both develop a deeper relationship with each other and with God and He will show you His faithfulness by how he honors this simple yet powerful act.
Start today so you can be prepared for tomorrow.