Welcome to session 2 – hopefully last week’s session was a good start for both of you!

 

You’ll notice there is a document for each of you to download below. This week and next week each of you will have your own set of questions to answer and then compare.

 

There is no other passage in scripture as well-known as Ephesians 5:22-33 when it comes to marriage. Well, 1 Corinthians 13 is often read at weddings so maybe that one is slightly more popular. Even people largely unfamiliar with the bible have heard of the passage in Ephesians. Understanding this passage correctly as it relates to marriage will be the game-changer for both of you. There is so much in this passage that it is enough on its own to cover this session.

 

That said, it is also a controversial passage for many because it is often misunderstood, taken out of context and used by couples to justify their views instead of using it to heal their marriage. The marriage model that God has given us is designed to give us two things. First, it gives us an understanding that God likes things to be in a certain order because He knows that order is good for us. Second, this passage gives us a deeper understanding of the sacrifice Jesus made so that we could enter into the relationship with God that we are privileged to have.

 

In fact, while this passage in Ephesians explains the order and behavior of the marriage relationship He desires for us, it also serves as an illustration of marriage to help us understand the work done by His Son. As you read the scriptures for this week pay particular attention to 1 Peter 2:18-20 because it explains how Jesus behaved under duress and wrong doing. He is our role model and His ways were all centered on serving others and not Himself. If we only got that one right, we would be transformed.

 

Men want to be respected and women want to be loved. We spend a lifetime trying to figure out how to do this but here in Ephesians 5 we are giving the secret – model our marriage after Christ. It’s so simple that it is the hardest thing to do because it requires us to let go of our so-called rights and views.

 

That brings us to one other topic we need to discuss as you prepare to get into this week’s session. It’s the topic of submission. There’s nothing like a misunderstood principle to completely ruin your day. As I noted above, God has an order for marriage. The order He has designed for us is for our protection and care and ultimately to be fulfilled in this life not frustrated. The original word from which we get the English word for submission comes from a military term that had the idea of falling into the proper order. Think of it as the response to a roll call when everyone lines up. It’s not about importance, it’s about knowing what our roles are in the relationship. Next week we’ll see how God views the husband and wife as “equal partners” in the relationship. He never intended for one to dominate the other. In fact, notice verse 21 – we are to submit to one another in love – it’s not a one way street.

 

Let us also notice that this passage explains how Christ’s work was sacrificial in nature. He gave Himself for us and this phrase has the idea of continuously giving up ourselves. Couples who desire to honor God rarely struggle with this idea of submission because they know whom they serve – by serving Him they serve one another therefore the focus is not on the individual’s selfish needs.

 

There is one very important question you need to be asking yourself often; whose reputation do I care more about, mine or God’s? This is important because it will help keep you in check when things look like they are going in the wrong direction. It is a question that gets us to pause and reflect so that we can take an honest assessment of our motives. That’s something we need often especially when our spouse is getting on our nerves or we’re edgy over a set of circumstances that we might not see eye to eye on.

 

The last thing to say here is learn how to slow down to go faster. We often want to rush change but God isn’t in a rush. Try and really think through these passages and how they apply to you personally and to your marriage. Draw out something specific you can work on.