We've spent the last three weeks setting a foundation for marriage. This week kickstarts a number of topics that focus on the more practical things we need to know and do.

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Let's start with the most important thing to say - Love is not an emotion as much as it is an act of the will. Love is born out of commitment, dedication and trust. The emotion we call love is our only way of explaining a group of feelings we experience as a result of willingly and deliberatly living to please the other person.

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You'll notice below that this session will have you spending lots of time in 1 Peter. The passage in chapter 3 is one of the most powerful on the marriage relationship. It gets to the core of our behavior as a couple. Let's set the tone for this topic by discussing this passage a little more before you get started.

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First, as we discussed last week, the topic of submission is presented to us in the very first verse of chapter 3. Notice the passage starts with "In the same way" - naturally we would want to ask, what same way? The previous section in chapter 2 is dedicated to describing how Christ behaved when suffering persecution. Peter wanted to get across the principle that God would never ask you to do anything that He has not set the example for. Peter uses the analogy of being a slave to compare the attitude and sacrifice Jesus displayed on our behalf. Such a powerful example of sacrifice is exactly why Peter can go on and start the next chapter by saying "In the same way" - knowing that we will never face the same conditions that Jesus did.

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Does knowing that make marriage easier, especially when you're married to someone who is disrespectul, neglectful or unloving? Of course it doesn't but that is precisely Peter's point. Yes, the scripture is instructing wives to understand their role in the marriage and honor their husbands authority even when they're are bit clueless - but it is also instructing them to do this so that they can win their husbands over by behaving in a way that honors God.

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Remember, obeying God results in the power to serve your spouse, not the other way around. Peter then gets to the husband. Dont' worry ladies, the instruction to the men is much more demanding - they just need to do it. There is a beautiful word used in 1 Peter 3:7 - it is the word understanding. There are lots of words in the original Greek language that refer to knowing or understanding something but this particular use of the word is like no other.

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In this verse the word has the idea of knowing the other person so completely, so intimately that you might say they know them better than the person knows themselves. It communicates that concept of studying the other person, paying attention to every detail and even anticipating their next move before they do in an effort to serve and help them.

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This would be music to any women's ears. Imagine a husband that is attentive. Yes, it's possible even though it takes time and work. Peter's instruction here is for husbands to really know their wives and because they are physiologically different than men - this being what is meant by the often misunderstood term "weaker vessel" - , they need to look after them. 

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Marriage isn't a 50/50 relationship, it's a 100/100 - each person needs to pull their own weight even if it means pulling the other person's from time to time when they can't do it themselves.